Somehow, over the past two
decades, I’ve been a semi-sports
parent. Semi, because despite my
two eldest kids being involved
in multiple sports, the sports
were always seasonal and close
to home. Teams were school or
city recreation sponsored, inexpensive,
and allowed us plenty
of time for family fun, including sailing, hiking, and
vacations. The kids were able to explore non-sports
interests too.
Between preschool and high school, our son-
Kid One-played on soccer, basketball, football, and
wrestling teams. In college he’s enjoyed rugby, scuba
diving, skiing, and weight-lifting. His teen sister-Kid
Two, five years younger-has played soccer and basketball
and ran cross-country.
It hasn’t always been easy attending games and
practices. At one wrestling meet, we spent the day
preventing an active toddler from falling through the
bleachers—all to see our son pin a guy in two minutes
flat (blink and you miss it!).
Yet for the most part, we’ve always integrated
sports into life, instead of vice versa. The athletic interests
of Kids One and Two rarely forced my husband
or me to make difficult choices regarding family
time, money, and energy.
Fast forward to Kid Three, whose athletic skills
- even on the playground as a preschooler - have
always been noticeable. Pressure began early for me
to become a real sports parent.
“You should get her on a team.” (Meaning: a
spendy club team with year-round commitments.)
You should, you should. Implied: if not, you’re wasting
your child’s athletic talent.
YIKES! Was that possible? Is that possible, now
my daughter’s at the ripe old age (or is it tender age?)
of eleven? Am I sacrificing her potential to play competitively
in her teen years in one specific sport, by
not having her specialize now?
Where is the middle ground-where a talented
child can continue to be challenged athletically, but
seasonally instead of year-round, without it costing
thousands of dollars a year?
Full of questions about how to support my
sports-loving daughter, I was excited to discover a
new resource for parents, titled: Revolution in the
Bleachers: How Parents Can Take Back Family Life
in a World Gone Crazy Over Youth Sports (2007
Gotham Books).
The author, Regan McMahon, is a journalist
and mother of two athletic kids, and the Forward
is by Bill Walton (NBA Hall of Fame). McMahon
addresses concerns experienced by parents of young
athletes:
• loss of family dinners, vacations, and holidays due
to pressure to play (and pay) year round
• pressure on families for their young kids to join costly club teams, with potential college scholarships
as a lure; when in reality, less than 1% of kids
in select sports are offered scholarships
• loss of children’s opportunities to explore varied
interests, due to the sheer number of hours invested
in practices, games, and travel time
• stress experienced by kids who struggle to balance
homework, practices, games, and in the process
miss special events with peers
• over-the-top emotional investment in parents,
who have conflicts with coaches and refs
• common repetitive use injuries, due to year-round
physical stress on isolated muscle groups, in
children whose growth plates are still
developing
McMahon’s journalistic style is fast-paced, well
organized and engaging. She offers thought-provoking
arguments, quoting professional athletes, coaches,
college deans and orthopedic surgeons. She includes
interviews with parents and young athletes who reveal
their love of sports, as well as how intense schedules
and team expectations impact their lives, sometimes
in stressful ways.
To offer practical help, McMahon includes
in each chapter a section called Rise up and Revolt:
What You Can Do Now. She summarizes critical
points and offers advice for parents to (for example):
• explore recreational teams or alternative
leagues as options
• resist the push to specialize at an early age (waiting
until after puberty, if possible)
• consider how joining an elite team will affect the
whole family
• ask the coach not to penalize your child for at
tending family events
• propose eliminating holiday tournaments and a
limit to the number of tournaments
• check kids regularly for signs of burnout
According to McMahon and other experts, playing
a variety of seasonal sports now does not rule out
the ability for my child to play competitively later. We
can indeed nurture athletic skills while keeping our
children balanced: physically, mentally, spiritually
and emotionally.
Laurie Winslow Sargent (Ames, IA) is a multibook
author, magazine article writer, and speaker.
Visit www.ParentChildPlay.com to find more great
resources for sports parents.
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