What does a sailing family do while living in land-locked Iowa? With a little imagination and downsizing, Jan Bittner and her family have found a way to still enjoy what her father discovered during his retirement years. They hold a regatta each July 4th weekend with model-size boats at Holiday Lake, where Jan and her husband, Scott, own a vacation home. This year marked the third annual event.
“The regatta came about as a memorial to our father who passed away in 2005 on his 93rd birthday,” Jan said. “He was an avid sailor in his retirement years and in fact, had a 27-foot sailboat named Shearwater commissioned to be built in Florida where they retired when he still was in his 70’s.
“I have three brothers who are all avid sailors, also. The regatta idea came as a result of a family reunion with our mother the summer after Dad passed away. Since sailing was such a big part of Dad’s life, as well as such an interest of my brothers, the idea of a remote control sailboat regatta came to mind.”
The boats are from the America (3) series. They measure 24 inches long and 41 inches high. Sails are 230 square inches. Weighing 2.5 pounds, their beams are 5.5 inches with a keel depth of eight inches. They are operated by regular two-channel radios, powered by four AA batteries. Each boat costs about $64.00.
One of Jan’s brothers assembled each boat, numbering one each for the four children, one for the grandchildren and one extra for parts or emergencies. “We have Dad’s original model, which absolutely sails the very best,” Jan said.
Though the regatta is all in fun, the event covers three days. Jan has organized the regatta much like an NCAA event, with a schedule, rules and regulations, and protest forms. The countdown and racing rules are re-printed from true sailboat racing rules and regulations. However, participants don’t take the regatta too seriously. Published rules, regulations and protest forms include some of Jan’s own bits of humor.
“Our 85-year-old mother dons her Commodore hat to conduct the Captains’ Meeting, along with overseeing the Board of Directors’ (comprised of family friends and neighbors at the lake) findings with regards to protests,” Jan said. “They go into seclusion with all the protest forms and come to a conclusion. Of course, they deny everything. A protest can range from ‘stealing my wind’, to a ‘captain eating the last piece of dessert at dinner the night before.”
Rule no. 4 states: “The Commodore and Assistant Commodore will tabulate all race results. Bribery will be accepted throughout the entire weekend and will probably be worth your effort.”
Rule no. 2: “This regatta is by invitation only. If the Commodore/Assistant Commodore does not recognize you, you may be required to provide identification. Due to their age, this may happen to you more than once. Don’t be offended as it is for you and your crew’s protection. Although not required, wearing a nametag at all times may prevent any misunderstandings. Please supply your own nametag.”
With each year, tweaking of the event takes place. The Assistant Commodore’s position is a newer addition (filled by the wife of Jan’s parents’ longtime friends who have attended the regatta the last two summers). Duties and responsibilities include: “First and foremost, make sure the Commodore is properly attired with Commodore hat on and hearing aids in”. And: “Assume Fleet Command in the absence of Commodore (to include bathroom breaks, beverage renewals, oversleeping, retiring early, dozing off and preoccupation with crossword puzzles).”
Jan says they have upgraded from empty gallon milk jugs spray painted and tied to a rock, to real sailing buoys to mark the course. “The sense of competitiveness has grown with each year,” she said. “A lot of heckling and ribbing goes on. The first year we had polo shirts with logos, the second year hats, and this year t-shirts saying ‘Sailing is in Our Blood Third Annual CL Marion Regatta’, with each captain’s boat name on the sleeve.”
There are of course certain fees. Rule 18: “There will be a $10.00 charge (the price of gas has raised substantially since last year) for all recovery missions by race committee (herein known as Search, Rescue & Salvage) to return any sailboat back to the dock. Hint: If you know how to swim, go get it yourself!”
The official part of the weekend began at 4 p.m. July 3rd with a “Mandatory Captain’s Briefing”. At 10 p.m., the course was open for practice trials. “No flashlights provided, no lifeguards on duty, no prearranged time slots. Sail at your own risk!” From midnight to 7 a.m. the next day: “QUIET HOURS. Commodore and Board of Directors are sleeping. If you think you have a chance of winning this regatta, you WILL follow this rule!” The first of three sailboat races began at 11:30 a.m. on the 4th. From noon to 4 p.m. free time was scheduled – jet skiing, waterskiing, wakeboarding, wake skating, wake surfing, four-wheeling, sunbathing, and nap taking. The official conclusion of all planned activities occurred at noon on July 5th.
For those readers interested in duplicating the regatta, Jan has another rule of importance – Rule 19: “Disclaimer of liability: Competitors participate in the C.L. Marion Memorial Regatta entirely at their own risk. The Commodores or Race Committee will not be responsible for any stupid decisions made by any captain, crew member or spectator before, during or after the races. This includes any formal or informal gathering sponsored by the Commodores or Race Committee.”
Happy sailing!
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